[IMG:L]Curb Your Enthusiasm’s affable agent Jeff Garlin has something new to be enthusiastic about: he’s written, directed and stars in the new film I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With, a wry and often poignant look at a large but lovable lonely guy from Chicago’s Second City comedy troupe (sound familiar?) looking for a meaningful romance among a cast of comely comediennes including Sarah Silverman, Amy Sedaris and Bonnie Hunt.
Garlin gives Hollywood.com the lowdown on a wide-ranging array of topics, including the splendors of sharing some late-night brie with a beloved, taking a film financing meeting with hookers, the swingin’ single days ahead he envisions for Larry David and how Ernest Borgnine owes him for a steady paycheck.
Hollywood.com: Is the title a verbatim quote from a moment in your own life?
Jeff Garlin: Yes it is. I was having lunch with Susannah [Melvoin], whose sister is Wendy of Wendy and Lisa fame. Susannah was the lead singer of The Family and she was dating John Cusack, an old friend of mine at the time. They were visiting New York because John was shooting Shadows and Fog. So we had lunch at the Museum of Natural History and we were talking about love; what do you want from a relationship. And I asked her what she wanted and she said “I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With.” And I said “That’s great. That’s so simple – It’s four in the morning and you’re with somebody you love and there’s nothing but cheese in the refrigerator and you sit there and eat the cheese!” And she said “That’s exactly what I meant!” And I told her that I loved that title and was going to use it.
HW: You first wrote the screenplay a decade ago. Where were the challenges in getting this film off the ground?
JG: The problems were that early on, I wasn’t anybody. I was who I am now, a kind and decent person, but I wasn’t anyone you’d say “Oh, we’ve got to make a movie starring him.” I remember saying to people who’d ask “How are you going to make your movie?’ I’d say “I don’t know yet. I think I have to get famous first by being on some sitcom because the guys with money will want to play golf with me and they’ll write me a check.” I wasn’t far off from the way it worked. Unfortunately, the frustration was that lots of people wanted to meet with me, but nobody wanted to give me any money. I remember I had this one meeting and the guy brought two hookers with him and they knew more than he did about film. It was very frustrating.
HW: Under what circumstances were you in a room with two hookers?
JG: I wasn’t in a room. I was in the lobby of the Mondrian Hotel. I don’t find myself in a room with hookers ever. So I met with this guy who had flown in, was late, had coke on his nose and had two hookers with him. And they were very charming and pretty girls who were fun to talk to. Unfortunately, he wasn’t so fun to talk to and he wasn’t very quick to write a check. It was a waste of my time. And to be really honest, it was very sad for me, because I would have rather have been with my family and not have had to go meet with a loser like this.
HW: How did you finally stop meeting losers and get the film going?
JG: What happens is that you meet with a hundred losers and 20 people who aren’t losers and they gave me money. I would never do another movie like this. For my first movie, I don’t regret doing it this way. But it’s a process…I will never go to meeting after meeting because that’s just not conducive to having a nice day.
[IMG:R]HW: Was it easier or harder to get the movie made in Chicago?
JG: At least half of my financing came from Chicago, and filming in Chicago was a joy. Especially an independent film because they’re not jaded and they’re very happy to have you there. They came to thank me. And the crew moved fast. God, were they fast. I had a different crew in LA. Not that my LA crew was slow, but they were not as fast as the Chicago crew. I would love to shoot in Chicago again and I hope that I do. Locations in Chicago were a breeze, whereas locations in LA were impossible. Nobody cares that you’re making a film that costs under a million bucks. We had a deal with a supermarket to shoot a scene and we talked to them the day before to work things out and they more than doubled our price which we could not afford. And the reason that they did was because the week before Steven Spielberg shot War of the Worlds there. So you’re dealing with Steven Spielberg, and then me.
HW: Did you have to get special permission to shoot at Second City and Wrigley Field there?
JG: Yes, I had to get permission from Major League Baseball and the Cubs were very supportive because they knew I wanted to shoot there and they were happy with having me shoot there. And with Second City, the owner invested in the movie so it would have been weird if he said no.
HW: Did you get “express written consent” from Major League Baseball?
JG: I got “express written consent” from Major League Baseball. Initially, they were going to give “written consent” and then I said “We need it express – please, it must be.”
HW: How did Sarah Silverman, Amy Sedaris and Bonnie Hunt come to be in the film?
JG: I wrote the parts for them and they’re all friends of mine. Those are three of the funniest women – if not the funniest women – in the world. To have them in my movie it’s a complete and utter honor. It was fun writing for all of them, but especially so for Sarah because she had not been written for before. Amy has always written her own things so she knew how to capture her own voice in terms of whatever character she was doing. Bonnie takes whatever part you give her and makes it her own. Sarah, because directors love her so much, has been consistently miscast in roles because they want to use her. So I wrote this part for her and when I did she wasn’t a star but I knew she was going to be a star. I was very smart and I should be given full credit for that. [laughs] Not her stardom but knowing that she was going to be a star. But then again any idiot could’ve seen that she was going to be a star. I mean to be that beautiful, funny and charismatic. And I also feel that if people don’t like the movie they’ll come away thinking that Sarah was great.
HW: What about the way that you’re abused by Sarah in the movie. Has there been anything like that in your life?
JG: Yes it did. It happened many times. She is based on one woman from my past who did torture me. She never realized that she tortured me and I still know her and I’m still friendly with her. She hasn’t seen the film but she asked “Was I really that mean to you?” and I said “Well, yeah”. I toned down Sarah’s character from that because she does ultimately get to that place. But she’s also based on other women…My wife was my next girlfriend after the one that Sarah’s character is primarily based upon. Bonnie’s character is loosely based on my wife, however she wasn’t a schoolteacher – she was my agent in Chicago. She likes to joke that she got more than 10 percent.
HW: You’ve been married 13 years. Once you found your wife were you glad to be done with the nightmare that dating can be?
JG: I prefer being married to being single. Actually, “prefer” is not a strong enough word because I can’t imagine being single again. And I don’t find being divorced interesting to me. I mean, I am envious to some degree of Larry [David] right now, to be that rich and women love him. So that combination of women loving me and being rich, ‘Wow!’ He’s proof that women love a good sense of humor because women are constantly telling me how attracted they are to him and now that he’s single, “Wooo!” That being said, I don’t want that for myself.
HW: Does Larry feel as good as you do about his prospects right now?
JG: I can’t speak for him, but I feel really good about them…Lots of 20-year-old girls will tell me that they have a crush on Larry. Now, do you think that a girl will watch the show and think “I like that fame” or “Wow, he’s got a lot of money.” No, they’re into him. It’s crazy, but they are.” [as Larry] “Why would you say it’s crazy?” “It’s not crazy, Larry, it makes total sense that a balding man in his fifties should have lots of girls running after him.”
[IMG:L]HW: Why is Marty, which is referenced a lot in your film, such a great movie, and have you ever met Ernest Borgnine?
JG: I’ve met Ernest Borgnine and shook his hand. He was a very nice man. Because of my love of Marty I actually got Ernest Borgnine work. He doesn’t even know this, but my wife was helping to cast The Single Guy, the TV show and she suggested him to Allison Jones who also does the casting on Curb Your Enthusiasm, and he actually wound up getting the part. Marty is a great movie because it is the quintessential “lonely guy” movie of all time. It’s sad and sweet and I think it’s a perfect movie and I love it. This movie is the closest I’ll ever come to playing Marty. And when I started writing it there was never the intent to honor Marty in this. It just sort of happened. And I didn’t even notice until I was in editing and I was like “I live alone with my mother. That’s just like Marty!” In editing, mind you, so subconsciously that stuff came out.
