Paramount via Everett CollectionThere’s nothing better than an instantly quotable movie line. Some of the funniest movies in cinema history have been released since 2000, and they have given us iconic phrases that we continue to quote with our friends and family. To pay tribute to the ones that make us laugh the loudest, below are 21 of the funniest movie quotes of the 21st century.
Derek Zoolander: “If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it’s that a male model’s life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn’t mean that we too can’t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.”
Damian: “Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco.”
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Ron Burgundy: “This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy report here, and guess what? You got knocked up.”
Seth: “I’m over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and it’s B.S. — excuse my language. I’m just saying that I wash and dry; I’m like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke — no offense — it’s just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it’s bulls**t — and I’m sorry. I’m not putting down your profession, but it’s just the way I feel. I don’t want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this s**tty food — no offense — and I just think that I don’t need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There’s three weeks left of school, give me a f**king break! I’m sorry for cursing.”
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
Edith: “What about my dreams?”
Dewey Cox: “Edith I told you I can’t build your candy house! It will fall apart, the sun will melt the candy, it won’t work!”
Hal: “Does she take the cake, or what?”
Mauricio: “She takes the whole bakery, Hal.”
Jerry: “Don’t analyze me, Phyllis, okay? You know, many have tried and all have failed. My brain doesn’t fit the usual id-ego-superego model!”
Phyllis: “No, you have the only brain with three ids.”
Dory: “I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy. Come on, Squishy Come on, little Squishy.”
Bob: “Is that everything? It seemed like he said quite a bit more than that.”
Doorman: “You old, she pregnant. Can’t have a bunch of old pregnant b**ches running around. That’s crazy, I’m only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there’s 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there’s a black midget in the crowd.”
Alan: “You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack… it grew by one. So there… there were two of us in the wolf pack… I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, ‘Wait a second, could it be?’ And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!”
Mrs. Kroeger: “You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!”
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
White Goodman: “There’s no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. I’m just kidding. But seriously, I’ve got ’em.”
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Borat: “Very nice, very nice! How much?”
Megan: “I’m glad he’s single because I’m going to climb that like a tree.”
Matt: “Mavis, I would keep all of this to yourself. I would find a therapist.”
Vanessa: “Your parents are probably wondering where you are.”
Juno: “Nah… I mean, I’m already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?”
Olive: “I want a one hundred dollar gift card deposited into my locker by noon tomorrow. Preferably to The Gap, but I’d also take Amazon.com, or Office Max. Actually make it Office Max — I have my eye on a label maker. We did not have sex. I let you fondle my chest, and it was a glorious moment for you. Unmatched by anything you have heretofore experienced… including cake.”
Jenko: “Look, it obviously starts with… you have the right to remain silent…”
Schmidt: [Whispering] “You have the right to an attorney.”
Jenko: “You have the right to remain… an attorney.”
Deputy Chief Hardy: “Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?”
Schmidt: “You do have the right to be an attorney if you want to.”
Harlan Pepper: “I used to be able to name every nut that there was. And it used to drive my mother crazy, because she used to say, ‘Harlan Pepper, if you don’t stop naming nuts…’ And the joke was that we lived in Pine Nut, and I think that’s what put it in my mind at that point. So she would hear me in the other room, and she’d just start yelling. I’d say, ‘Peanut. Hazelnut. Cashew nut. Macadamia nut.’ That was the one that would send her into going crazy. She’d say, ‘Would you stop naming nuts!’ And Hubert used to be able to make the sound, he couldn’t talk, but he’d go ‘rrrawr rrawr’ and that sounded like ‘macadamia nut.’ Pine nut, which is a nut, but it’s also the name of a town. Pistachio nut. Red pistachio nut. Natural, all natural white pistachio nut.”
Miranda Priestly: “Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender, female paratrooper? Am I reaching for the stars here? Not really.”
