Truebies, this is it… the end is here. We have to impatiently wait until next summer before we can sink our teeth into next season of True Blood. So, grab a hefty box of kleenex to wipe your blood-stained tears away. Waiting sucks as much as being staked in the heart, right? Okay, well ALMOST as much!
But before we say goodbye to our vamp-pals and fairy gals down in Bon Temps, let’s chat about this last episode’s gory antics.
Party and Bulls**t
After Terry’s burial, Sookie invites Alcide to wander through the graveyard with her when Alcides were-senses start tingling: all the now-uncaged vamps are high on Warlowy blood, basking in the sun, stripping and screwing. Party on baby!
But one guy’s not in the party mood. Bill’s left in disarray after his near-dance with death. No longer does he feel Lilith’s pull, he’s the real Bill again. So naturally, he’s back to feeling guilty for Sookie and wanting to put a halt on her wedding and turning. He recruits Jason– and Violet follows of course– to fetch Adelyn so they can jump to the fairy plane and save Sookie.
You’re a Monster!
Warlow’s decked out the fairy plane with fancy-schmancy chandeliers and delicate flower ornaments for his wedding with Sookie, but Sookie’s all like, hold up. Why don’t we try to be a normal couple and date for a little before I become your fairy-vampire bride? But nope, that doesn’t do it for Warlow: he ends up slapping Sook and chocking her. Warlow, that’s no way to treat a lady!
Well, Warlow’s not only clueless with chivalry, but also is a “monster” according to Sookie. Yep, it’s a bummer, alright. He’s not the swoon-worthy hunk Sookie’s made him out to be… not even close! He’s just a power-hungry, evil vampire that wants to use Sookie for her blood and her bod. Ugh, men these days!
The Return of Grandpa Niall!
Well, uh, Adelyn doesn’t exactly know how to get to said fairy plane. But with a little help–well, intimidation– from Violet, the ultimate crew (Jason, Andy, Bill, and Violet) bust in, kick Warlow’s ass, and jet on out to save Sookie’s mortal life. Ka-pow! Now that’s what I call teamwork.
Unfortunately, a now powerless Bill is no match for Warlow, who easily slips away, bursts into the Stackhouse’s and grabs Sookie. But before Warlow can even spit out a proper threat, Grandpa Niall pops out of his portal, Jason stakes Warlow, and Warlow shrivels into a pile of bloody blegh. Wahoo! Sookie, you’re a free b*tch baby!
Eric! NOOOOO!!!!
Well, the death of Warlow also brings the end of his magical blood for all. Yep, no more fun in the sun for all the vampers, especially Eric! While lounging naked on a glacier and enjoying a good read– because why not– Eric instantaneously fries up. Gah! No! Eric, you can’t die. Hell to the no. Seriously, Eric is the REASON I watch this show. Ugh, not cool. But hey, at least we got to see him naked, right?
Six Months Later…
Then we flash forward to six months later, Bill’s become a best-selling author of “And God Bled”. Who would’ve guessed that outcome? And finally, Sookie and Alcide are together! I repeat… FINALLY! Took long enough for these two destined-lovebirds to realize they are perfect for each other! Also, it seems that Violet and Jason are Really enjoying each others company… well, kind of. Jason hasn’t scored in the sheets with Violet quite yet. Hopefully you’ll hit one out of the park soon, kiddo!
And guess who’s become mayor… Sam Merlotte! Well, at a town meeting, Merlotte not only holds Hep. V tests, but suggests for all non-infected humans to forge a relationship with a vampire so they can exchange their human blood for protection from a vampire. With bands of ill-fed, Hepatits V-infected vampers scavenging through town, humans need as much safety as they can get.
Barbeque at Bellfleur’s
So, church-goers that are down with this plan head over to Bellfleur’s– yep, Merlott’s has been renamed– and mingle with friendly vamps. At the shindig, Tara’s mom apologizes for never caring for Tara during her mortal life, but shares how she wants to make up for those days of neglecting now. So, she lets Tara feed on her, because afterall, what are mommies for?
Similarly, Jessica tries to make amends with Andy and offers to protect him and Adelyn, but Andy’s nowhere near accepting of this idea. I mean, you did kill like three of his daughters, so can you really blame him for rejecting you? Sorry, chica!
And then, right when the party’s in full swing and it seems that this vampire-human co-existence is totally alrighty, Bill and Alcide sniff out a pack of Hep. V-infested vampers headed into town, and yup… they’re licking their lips and looking ready to pounce! Until next season…
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