Fox Searchlight Pictures/Lionsgate
As this year comes to a close, we look towards what 2014 has to offer at the multiplex. Check out the films that have us excited for the new year, and the ones that make us wish we could stay in 2013 forever.
JANUARY
What we’re looking forward to: Nothing
The month of January is widely recognized as toxic runoff of the movie year, and January 2014 looks to continue that trend since nothing here stands out as being completely promising.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: I, Frankenstein
There has to be a worst of the worst right? Deep in the sludge of January releases lies the upcoming I, Frankenstein. The film, featuring a perma-shirtless Aaron Eckhart as the monster. It’s hard to get excited about a film that looks like it filled in the crater of an exploded Hot Topic.
What we’re undecided about: That Awkward Moment
The trailer for That Awkward Moment previews a mix of raunch and romance that could go all wrong, but it could also go right.
FEBUARY
What we’re looking forward to: The Monuments Men
This film’s banishment to early 2014 certainly has us worried, but it’s jaunty war tale about stealing precious pieces of art back from the Nazis looks to charming to pass up.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: 3 Days to Kill
Kevin Costner seems to be doing his best Liam Neeson impression in this action vehicle that looks like a second rate version of Taken. We already have a second rate version of Taken, and it’s called Taken 2.
What we’re undecided about: Robocop
Next year’s Robocop just looks way too generic to drum up any excitement. The film has also been slapped with a PG-13 rating, and a Robocop film without excessive amounts of violence just feels wrong.
MARCH
What we’re looking forward to: The Grand Budapest Hotel
We simply can’t wait to feast our eyeballs Wes Anderson’s latest, which looks to be his most beautiful and wonderfully weird film yet.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: A Haunted House 2
The sequel to a terrible horror spoof? in March? …Why?
What we’re undecided about: Noah
Darren Aronofsky is taking on the Bible with the bombastic-looking Noah, but it remains to be seen how the director, who usually handles smaller stories, will deal with the gargantuan project.
APRIL
What we’re looking forward to: Captain America: The Winter Soldier
While the first Captain America felt more like an obligitory step leading up to The Avengers rather than a full on film, the sequel looks like it will inject a good amount of intrigue and thorny politics into a Marvel universe that sometimes feels like it could use some nice splashes of grey area.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: Nothing
Luckily, nothing in April stands out as looking outright terrible.
What we’re undecided about: Transcendence
While the trailer and premise for Transcendence is certainly intriguing, the film looks like it could easily dovetale into silliness.
MAY
What we’re looking forward to: X-Men: Days of Future Past
After X-Men: First Class gave the X-Men series a ’60s face lift, we’re excited to see more period mutant action, especially considering this film will inolve time traveling, and both versions of the Magneto and Professor X characters.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: Neighbors
While Zac Efron and Seth Rogan are both likeable enough, many of the gags from the trailer simply don’t land, especially the airbag prank with a noticeably cgi’d Seth Rogen.
What we’re undecided about: The Amazing Spider-Man 2
While the new addition to the franchise, especially Dane Dehaan as a sunken-eyed Harry Osborn look fun, this film looks like it might suffer under the weight of all it’s villains, the same problem that helped sink Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 3
JUNE
What we’re looking forward to: How To Train Your Dragon 2
We’re super excited for the sequel of the 2010 film, which told the classic story of a boy and his dragon with boatloads of charm and humor. Also, the film’s various flying sequences made the strongest case for 3D films since James Cameron’s Avatar.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: Transformers: Age of Extinction
You’d think three Transformers films would be enough, but Michael Bay has no time for the concepts of “restraint” or “fewer explosions.” The director is charging forward with yet another Transformers sequel sans the human cast from the previous trilogy, and we’re certainly not excited.
What we’re undecided about: Edge of Tomorrow
Saddled with what is possibly the most boring film title in the history of naming things, Edge of Tomorrow seems like an odd mix of Groundhog Day and Saving Private Ryan, with aliens… which could be a good thing, but will probably be a terrible thing.
JULY
What we’re looking forward to: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Who knew the world really needed more Planet of the Apes Movies? Rise of the Planet of the Apes, apart from being a serious mouthful of a title, surprised everyone by becoming arguably the best blockbuster film of 2011, and its sequel looks to keep the franchise moving in interesting directions.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: Step Up All In
When every other dance movie during the dance film craze of the late 2000s had the good sense to go away, the Step Up series keeps two-stepping it’s way into theaters, and were starting to feel like that town in Footloose was on to something.
What we’re undecided about: Jupiter Ascending
Cloud Atlas was an unde-appreciated gem and we’re excited about what the Wachcowskis have up next… but Channing Tatum with elf ears gives us pause.
AUGUST
What we’re looking forward to: Guardians of the Galaxy
The Guardians of the Galaxy might be Marvel Comic’s C-team in terms of superhero groups, but we’re incredibly excited to see this group of space misfits battle the evil forces of the galaxy. Plus, this is the closest we’re going to get to Chris Pratt in “Burt Macklin: Space Ranger.”
What we’re NOT looking forward to: The Expendables 3
This swan song for aging ’80s action stars needs to finally step back and take a look at some retirement options.
What we’re undecided about: Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
It’s hard to muster up excitement for this sequel considering the first one will have came out almost 10 years ago.
SEPTEMBER
What we’re looking forward to: The Boxtrolls
Animation studio Laika is single-handedly keeping the art of stop motion animation alive in American film. It also doesn’t hurt that their films are equal parts weird, cute, and charming. The Boxtrolls looks like another excellent film from the studio, and more proof that kid’s films don’t need to begin and end with CGI.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: Nothing
September looks like another pristine month!
What we’re undecided about: The Equalizer
TV to film adaptations are rarely successful, so we’re not expecting much from this Antoine Fuqua film. But who knows? Denzel Washington has been known to elevate drudgery into something memorable.
OCTOBER
What we’re looking forward to: Gone Girl
A David Fincher film starring Ben Affleck and Tyler Perry? We have to see this.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: Paranormal Activity 5
We now live in the evil sort of world that has two Paranormal Activity films coming out in the same year. One is tolerable, but two is simply criminal.
What we’re undecided about: Dracula Untold
We’re currently suffering from vampire fatigue right now, and the prospect of seeing a Dracula origin story isn’t exactly the most exciting thing in the world. We don’t really need to see Dracula castle-shopping.
NOVEMBER
What we’re looking forward to: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
With The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, director Francis Lawrence delivered a confident and pitch-perfect adaptation of the book, and we’re excited to see how he handles the next to last chapter of Katniss’ journey.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: Nothing
Fall is usually pretty good for movies and there’s nothing that stands out in this month as being bad enough to mention!
What we’re undecided about: Dumb and Dumber To
Jim Carrey is putting in the teeth one more go around as Lloyd Christmas, but does the world really need another Dumb and Dumber? We’re not sure.
DECEMBER
What we’re looking forward to: The Hobbit: There and Back Again
Bilbo’s journey took an exciting turn for the good with The Desolation of Smaug, and we can’t wait to see how the Hobbit’s adventures come to an end in the series’ conclusion.
What we’re NOT looking forward to: Night of the Museum 3
The thought of Ben Stiller trying to manage a museum full of sentient exhibits for the third time is almost maddening.
What we’re undecided about: Annie
Little orphan Annie is getting a modern day retelling, and we’re not quite sure what this adaptation will bring to the classic musical. Maybe show your kids a DVD of the 1982 classic instead.
