The boys of One Direction have officially touched down on American soil for their massive Where We Are stadium tour. Tween girls across the country are screaming and crying in glee. You’ve got tickets. You might be too old. We’re here to help you figure out the signs.
1. You’re surrounded by people like this:
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Crying is not your first reaction when you think of One Direction. You’re excited, yes, but “crying excited?” No.
2. You don’t need your parent (or their permission) to go.
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Your parents have no idea who, or what, the hell One Direction is.
3. You didn’t have to ask for the ticket as a gift.
You totally used your big girl/boy money to pay for this.
4. You’re older than every member of the band.
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Some of them, by a lot. Why are you so young Harry?!
5. You’re much older than all the fans surrounding you.
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Are all of their fans 12!?
6. None of the merchandise fits you.
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Because it’s made for ages Tween and below.
7. You don’t have a bed time.
But you also really shouldn’t be up past 11, on a week night, because you’ve got this thing called work tomorrow.
8. You think it’s a little too loud.
Are concerts always this noisy?
9. You’re starting to question what these lyrics even mean and what it means that you’re singing along.
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I drive all night to keep her warm… “Wouldn’t she be warmer inside a house? Why are you kids wasting gas? Don’t you know how expensive that is?” – You, questioning their logic.
10. Instead of thinking about how hot these boys are, you want to know why they’re prettier than you.
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Are they wax figures?
11. Zayn’s face makes you really wish you didn’t notice your forehead starting to wrinkle ever-so-slightly.
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How are you supposed to pretend you’re their age if you’ve got crow’s feet ready to descend and their faces are still fresh from birth?
12. All of your friends openly mocked you for buying tickets.
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And the fact that you stalked Ticketmaster and StubHub to do so? They will never let you live it down.
13. You couldn’t tell your co-workers what concert you were going to.
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“Uhh…you’ve probably never heard of them! Gotta go, bye!” You’re praying they don’t see a picture of you there.
14. You can’t even follow along with their infamous Twitter chats during the show, because:
A. – “What are these people asking?”
B. – “That wasn’t even a question.”
C. – “Why are people crying? They’re being so nice!”
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15. You think, even for a fleeting second, that you’re too old.
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If you think you are, that’s probably the biggest sign there is. It’s okay, we’ll pretend you didn’t think it. Hope you enjoy the show!
